Tag Archives: KP

0 Lions In The Shirt

Taking over from Giles Clarke must be the Everest of Avarice and Stupidity to tackle but the new guy just cleared cow corner. He talked of what KP had to do to come back. What the fuck is he opining on a selection matter?

The issues with KP stem from bullying micro management that has turned players against each other, Captain and Coach and turned Captain and Vice Captain into Senior Manager and Manager. The head of the snake then undermines the 15 layers of cunts below him in his first address. Yes he’ll say of course KP has to play county cricket and no I was undermining no one and it was a simple statement of fact that and the Pope is a Jew. The current clowns running the Asylum have deselected him and he even suggests he could come back is not a kick in the teeth?

He should have said I am putting a structure in place that liberates the team and it will be up to the selectors to select a winning team of whoever they like within that. Instead we got proclamation management from the top.

It’s like a circus without the Lions. As I Tweeted:-

English cricket gone from all powerful Captains who went insane to all powerful managers who went insane to now Kafkaesque.

None correct.

The Primacy Of Management

England mistake performances in ODIs outside a world cup for progress. Many teams are on tours or subject to umm other pressures. England has talent but as with tests we generally get 2 good years of extreme ways before oh baby it falls apart. For all the Kevin Pietersen affair has been cast for narrative’s sake as him v senior pros and manager its roots are in the ECB.

As said before the team is dysfunctional with selectors, managers, coaches, chief of selectors, Captain and vice Captain in a defined structure for a sport that comes down to individuals in individual situations. Other teams probably have the same titles without the fixed structure and requirements of deference and with greater gaps between selectors, managers and teams on a daily basis. This comes from the top. The ECB can pick on the Pietersens who want more control over how and when they play because it does not matter to them. Success is a nice to have but not the goal. Winning or fighting PR wars with a player of no consequence to the bottom line of licking SKY/James Murdoch’s butt. Plus in a perverse irony only way cricket cracks the main news is when KP speaks or Flintstone debases himself again.

Whilst money rolls in with the product prostituted to Sky and the grounds binge on a bubble economy, cheap debt and Zero Interest policies of Govt this will not change. A lousy product on the field is of no concern to management as the money rolls in. The ECB seem happy for their star players to be far from cossetted to be people whose ordinary every day faults are debated in minutia. It does not see sport for the future paying fan is about dreaming of wanting to be Boycott as I did. No one would want to be the arrogant bully Anderson man child Broad nor the Sergeant Major Prior never mind mind grim Cook or the depressed broken cricketers. Pietersen is hardly the lovable maverick of Hollywood to boot.

In the end if English cricket continues to believe an endless chain of management from Giles Clarke down is a good idea it will find a hollowed out schedule filling sport with twenty20 as a warm up to a concert or a background to drinking or both. All I see even now is decline, financial debt and squabbling players. Cricket’s popularity dines on 2005 and Pietersen and Flintstone are still the only crossover stars and whacking 10 hours a day of schedule filler on SKY will not change that nor the downward path.

Even should England manage to win the world cup it will be make up. A completely tangential John McCain quote to his wife from me to Giles Clarke on SKY money:-

…don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.

Hierarchy Selecting

I’ve joked before about the ludicrous veneration of the armband wearer in cricket and football by England teams. The way that some senior pro with a title is somehow apart from the team.

Compare with say cricket Australia who by and large get it right and manage to put out a team with far more characters with more character than KP. Shane Watson playing in the Ashes for instance after undermining Clarke on more than 1 occasion – note I use Watson not Warne as you clearly would let Warne root your wife before considering dropping him.

In the end instead of selecting a team and coach and captain and tell them to get on with it England select a coach and then get together and select a captain and then a team. Essentially selecting a hierarchy rather than a team. Australia’s players have long shown the ability to play for captains and coaches they ignore in large measure. England by creating a hierarchy create a top down approach which is fine for factories but alien in creative companies and industries that succeed.

It’s not to say England will not have periodic success but arguably the captaincy has shortened the effective careers of Vaughan and KP arguably also Strauss and Hussain, By giving the captain power and separating him from the team you have a single point of failure and a great deal of pressure in one place. Something Australia have successfully targeted over the years.

Was KP A Great?

In short whilst he had the talent he finishes with a similar average to Cook or Trott and as he batted 4 and lower is less valuable. Sure he scored runs quickly but negated this with poor batting with the tail – often getting out at the sight or Prior’s arse departing to the pavilion. The value of scoring quickly negated by it not often clearly being the difference between a win and a loss. He was next to no use batting out a draw.

I’d accept he was better than his average as he never played for it by applying cream on top runs but he often benefited from Trott or Cook and an old ball. Not easy to say this as he was clearly my favoured player from this team.

Not a Hall of Famer if your standard is higher than Gower who bizarrely is.

Flower Leaves

The Flower picture gets muddied. Before Australia can do no wrong and fear is he leaves. After series pasting he says he wants to stay. Media start some story it’s him or KP no one not even the usual creeps backs this.

Now he’s gone. The extraordinary thing is how for a brief period captains and coaches like Vaughan, Fletcher, Cook and Flower appear so good and then bang their decisions look vapid. One wonder if hubris is their nemesis or whether they just were not that good in the first place. In the end it’s been a good period and 1 terrible series and ummh agggh year ain’t so bad.

Why he’s gone will no doubt come out but all we can say is England’s options especially bowling have gone from great to dire in 2 years. Maybe change is good.

Pure Genius Hard to Watch

Sometimes sportsmen touch a level that is beyond whatever it is. It’s indefinable and indescribable to me and to attempt to do so involves metaphor that never quite hits the spot. I don’t like poetry per se certainly not enough to describe something as sheer poetry… Continue reading

KP’s Back

Getting suspended by England turned into a nice little earner for Kev never mind he missed out on the tournament he most wanted. He probably trousered more than anyone else from the World Twenty20 bar Mugabe’s thugs – our TV money funds their cricket which funds ZANU-PF etc. The ECB will not be sued and everyone else can lump it, yes you Flower.

Now I don’t think Pietersen actually did anything that wrong. It’s not his job to get the best team in the field for England. His crimes such that they were were ignorable. The content of yesterday’s press conference said to me the issues that mattered to the ECB had nothing to do with anything but contractual disagreements. The press seem to assume everything runs like a soap opera feud.

A US coach was once asked why he did not have a curfew and his answer was because you catch the wrong ones. By that he meant the good ones. England caught their best one.

KP: Time For You To Leave?

I’ve barely been able to watch a ball since Pietersen left the England team. The sight of those oh so funny laddish bullies Swann and Broad publicly mocking and laughing away behind a colleagues back takes away much of the desire to support my national team. Temporary hiatus I’m sure. Continue reading

England’s Test Begins Now

It will be tempting for the current Ashes players to follow in the footsteps of Harm-less-son, Flintoff, Vaughan and others and disappear up their own arses for the rest of their careers having not only won the Ashes but retained them. For me as in 2005 the real test should start now. The aim to be one of the top 2 or 3 test nations and no 1 for a period for at least 4 or 5 years.  Continue reading

England Fall to Old Failings?

There is no disgrace against the swinging ball for England to struggle. There is no disgrace when the Kookaburra ball goes soft not to press on. There is not disgrace in getting out to a fired up Mitchell Johnson. There is no disgrace in losing bowlers to injury. There is no disgrace in maybe losing to Australia.

However Continue reading